Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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