It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
