Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
