your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize