just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
