she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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