My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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