I love black thongs
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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