Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
false alarm, still single
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
