Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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