so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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