I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
