Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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