Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
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