I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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