I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
