If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It was confusing and full of hummus
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
