I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
