The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
