I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
