god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I pour the whiskey from now on
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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