his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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