everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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