I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
