Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you traded sex for a burrito?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
