Three words: puerto rican gang bang
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
