The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
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i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
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I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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