Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
