i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
