my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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