I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
