your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
