You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
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I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
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Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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