I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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