there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
