I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
