PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
