with your own penis?
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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