I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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