Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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