Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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