I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
