I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
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Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
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You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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