Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
