how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
