also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
