i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
