You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
