they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
