would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
