Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
