my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
