well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
