im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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