I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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