winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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